THE ONE THAT'S PICKY TEA

ALSO KNOWN AS BRITISH TAPAS (so wrong, but so right)

Menu to serve 6 people GENEROUSLY as a Picky Tea

SAUSAGE ROLLS

CHICKEN GOUJONS

POTATO WEDGES

SPINACH AND FETA SIGARI BOREK

DIPS - GREEN GODDESS, CAJUN TOMATO MAYO              

PESTO CREME FRAICHE, CHEATS AVJAR

COBB SALAD

CRISPS, BREAD, CRUDITÈS AND CHEESE

“Picky Tea” is a British institution that we all love, yet is also somehow undefinable. For my British readers, you will know that Picky Tea is easier to explain by a feeling. It’s a dinner that is supposed to be easy but luxurious, comforting and fun, relying almost entirely on ready-made products. It’s for when you’re indecisive, when the fatigue of choosing a meal is too much. So you just choose everything. It’s a huge treat.

However, “shall we just have picky bits for tea” is a phrase that can ALSO mean “we need to empty the fridge” or “all I can be bothered to do right now is put the oven on”. And yet, it is also somehow a special occasion. I would say that often Picky Tea is what is served at village halls during a fete, or at a wake in a pub, or when your hangover is so severe that the only thing you are capable of doing is opening packets, and it is definitely what every British person will bring to a park.

Often described as British Tapas or Carpet Picnic, everyone does it differently depending on their region or the occasion. Exploring and writing this I decided that there were a few mandatory elements without which it would be a lesser Picky Tea.

1. Something with sausage - be it a cocktail sausage or a sausage roll (often both), it would be an absolute travesty not to have this pork product. Pork pies are not a swap, you still need a sausage element.

2. Beige things that are either hot or cold. Essentially we are talking about ready made deli snacks and canapés or literally anything by Birdseye. You need to have at least 1 thing in pastry, 1 breaded thing, 1 or 2 fried things and something cigar shaped. If you can squeeze some filo in there, even better. 

3. Dips, for lubrication and health. It is SUPER important to have various dips available for the above beige items, crisps, and crudités (usually carrot sticks and cucumber). Dips are the glue of a picky tea and you can buy them or make them, either way you can’t live without them. 

4. A salad that isn’t really a salad. Often a supermarket coleslaw is in play here, and usually it is used more as a dip or a topping. In my picky tea I love a Cobb salad, which I’m sure isn’t something you see nationwide, but to me makes so much sense because it’s just more picky bits all lined up in a row. Other popular picky tea “salads” are olives, those sweet and spicy peppers stuffed with feta (j’adore) or gherkins. 

5. There MUST be cheese, and one of them MUST be Boursin. It would be so, so remiss to not have a sort of miniature cheese board to pick at during picky tea, even if your salad contains cheese and your beige items also contain cheese. One thing about this great nation is that we simply cannot eat enough cheese. A Boursin is the holy grail of Picky Tea - creamy, garlicky herby cheese that goes with everything. Don’t leave it out. 

6. CRISPS.

So. You might now be wondering, how is Rosie doing Picky Tea if it is all stuff you buy from the supermarket? And you’re not wrong, this did cross my mind too. Not to mention the fact that the reason one buys those beige items and dips from the supermarket is because to make them all would take a fair amount of time. WELL, The Dinner Party has you covered because all of those recipes today are either easy to prepare ahead or super quick to make, and I’ve included freezing and cooking from frozen instructions too and in your time plan. So you can turn your freezer into a haven of very good homemade picky tea items for that inevitable rainy day.  

SAUSAGE ROLLS   

What would life be without a sausage roll? Deeply, deeply dull if you ask me. There are so many brilliant versions and varieties of sausage rolls but these ones are fairly straight down the line. Dependable, easy, delicious. A huge crowd pleaser. I brought these to the park the day after I shot these recipes (fabulous timing I know!) and my friend Charlie said they were the best sausage rolls he’s ever had so make of that what you will. I prefer to make one long sausage roll and slice after and I always use All Butter Puff Pastry.

Makes 16 - 20

• 8 good quality cumberland sausages, 400g

• 1 onion, finely chopped

• 1 tbsp olive oil

• 40g fresh white breadcrumbs

• 1 tsp dried sage

• 1 tsp dried rosemary

• ½ tsp fennel seeds

• A good grating of nutmeg

• 1 clove of garlic, grated

• 20g parmesan cheese, finely grated

• Decent pinch of sea salt and black pepper

• 1 egg, beaten

• 1 sheet of all butter puff pastry (you might need 2 sheets of regular puff if using as they come up a bit smaller)

• 1 tbsp sesame seeds

• Flakey sea salt

Heat the oil in a small saucepan and then fry the onion in it on a medium heat for about 10 minutes or so, until softened and golden. Tip it out onto a plate and set aside to cool completely while you get everything else ready - you don’t want to put hot onion into raw meat as it can be a little bit of a danger zone vibe. 

Remove the sausage meat from the skins and crumble into a large bowl. Add in the breadcrumbs, nutmeg, garlic and parmesan. Lightly crush the dried herbs and fennel seeds in a pestle and mortar and add them in too along with the cooled onion and a good pinch of sea salt and plenty of black pepper. Use your hands to squelch the mix together into a well mixed porky paste. You can fry a little bit of the mix off to check the seasoning now, I found that with the sausagemeat and parmesan it didn’t need any extra salt. Pop into the fridge for 15 minutes. 

Unroll your sheet of puff pastry and line a large baking tray with baking paper. Cut the pastry in half lengthways so you have two long strips. If its a warm day, pop the piece you aren’t working with in the fridge to keep cool. 

Take half of the sausage mix and pop it onto the strip of pastry leaving a 3 - 4 cm border on one side, forming the meat into an even cylinder as you do it. Use a brush to paint the border side with egg wash, then gently roll the pastry and meat over so that the two long edges meet together. Press them together with your hand gently, then use a fork or the end of a teaspoon to crimp the pastry and seal. Lightly score small lines top of the pastry, between 8 and 10, so you have an idea of where to cut when you remove it from the oven. Brush all over with the egg wash, sprinkle with some sesame seeds and sea salt and then pop back into the fridge to chill while you make the other one. Make sure both rolls get at least 1 hour in the fridge before you bake them.

Preheat the oven to 200 and when hot, put your sausage rolls into bake for 25 minutes, then turn the oven down to 180 for a further 10 - 15 minutes. You may need to turn them if your oven has hot spots and one side is browning faster than the other. If your pastry has puffed so much that it has broken its seal - don’t worry!! This can be fixed. As soon as your rolls are golden brown and out of the oven use a slightly damp tea towel to gently push back down the pastry to meet itself again - it won’t do it any harm and no one would know the difference. Leave the rolls to cool on a wire rack for at least half an hour before slicing. Trim off the edges and use the scores you made to guide you cutting them into mini rolls with a sharp bread knife. Serve hot or cold with the cheats avjar. 

MAKE AHEAD - 

• The sausage mix can be made up to 2 days ahead. 

• You can also make the sausage rolls themselves up to 24 hours ahead and keep chilled in the fridge or bake and then chill. See below for freezing. 

•  You can reheat your cooked and sliced rolls at 180 degrees for 15 minutes, or 30 from frozen.

FREEZING - 

• You can make the sausage rolls and freeze them raw for up to 3 months. I would suggest initially freezing on a tray (covered with clingfilm) so that the roll doesn’t get misshapen and then once solid wrap as a roll in cling or place in a ziplock bag.

• Bake from frozen at 200 for 35 minutes then 180 for 15 - 20.

• You can also cook, slice and freeze the sausage rolls for up to 3 months. Freeze on a tray first then pack into a bag. See above for reheating from frozen.

SUBSTITUTIONS - 

• It’s fun to play with sausage roll flavours! Add chilli, different herbs like thyme or basil, add stronger cheeses like gruyere or blue cheese, use ‘nduja or harissa to flavour your mix  or other spices like cumin or coriander. 

CHICKEN GOUJONS

A goujon, aka a sort of breaded finger, is just a great way to enjoy chicken. If you don’t make these for Picky Tea then make them for something else because they are really very good - juicy and crispy but with all the good slightly fast-foody flavours that you get from the dry brine. In fact, these on a Cobb Salad with Green Goddess dressing would do VERY nicely. Don’t use breasts for this, thighs are much more juicy and flavourful.

 Serves 6 as part of Picky Tea, 3 - 4 as a main protein with salad

• 5 skinless boneless chicken thighs

  For the dry brine

• 1 tsp fine salt

• 1 tsp garlic powder

• 1 tsp all purpose seasoning

• 130g panko breadcrumbs

• 100g plain flour

• 3 eggs, beaten

• 600ml vegetable oil for frying

Cut the thighs into goujons - you will need to slice each thigh into 4 or 5 strips that are about the width of your index finger. Dust them with the salt, garlic powder and all purpose seasoning and pop in the fridge for 30 minutes at least, ideally 1 hour. 

Prepare a breading station for your chicken with the flour in one tray, the beaten eggs in another and the panko breadcrumbs in a third. Dip the goujons in the flour, then egg and then breadcrumbs to coat them evenly. I find using kitchen spider and tongs here helpful in avoiding breadcrumbed fingers. Pop the breaded goujons on a tray lined with baking parchment. 

To fry them, heat your oil in a medium sized frying pan until it reaches 180 degrees. Carefully fry the goujons in batches until they are a deep golden brown, turning often - around 6 minutes. Drain them on kitchen paper and serve immediately, ideally with the Cajun Tomato Mayo. 

MAKE AHEAD -

• You can brine the chicken goujons for up to 2 days before you fry them. I would avoid keeping them raw but breaded for longer than 24 hours, however you can freeze them, see below.

• The fried goujons can be reheated at 180 for 18 minutes. If reheating from frozen they will need up to 30 minutes on a lined tray.  

FREEZING -

• The goujons can be breaded and frozen raw for up to 3 months, as above I recommend freezing on a tray first then transferring to a ziplock bag. To fry from frozen heat the oil to 170 and fry for up to 12 minutes, making sure they are fully defrosted and cooked through before you serve them. 

• To reheat from frozen simply bake in an oven at 180 for 30 minutes.

SUBSTITUTIONS -

• You can use turkey if you must, white fish would also be lovely here or strips of pork tenderloin or lamb loin.

POTATO WEDGES

I think it should be clear now that I am trying to make some of these snacks taste a little bit like they HAVE come from a bag. It’s weirdly satisfying to me to be able to make something taste almost like it WAS mass produced? But all the while seeing exactly what is going in it and how it is made. A bit like that show Snackmasters, while testing these recipes I was trying to guess what magic compound makes a potato wedge taste like the frozen ones from your childhood. Well I am happy to announce that, as I suspected, it is almost always garlic powder, MSG and a decent whack of oil. 

Serves 6 as a side

• 1.2kg Maris Pipers, cut into wedges

• 2 tbsps cornflour

• 1 tsp paprika

• 2 tsp garlic powder

• 1 tsp MSG (use a crumbled stock cube if you can’t get hold of this)

• 1 tbsp Old Bay or All Purpose Seasoning

• 100ml veg oil

Pop the wedges in a saucepan, cover with cold water and season generously. Bring up to a boil and then simmer for 1 - 2 minutes before carefully lifting out the wedges and draining in a colander. Leave them to cool completely on a rack for 30 minutes. 

Preheat the oven to 180 fan and split the oil between two oven trays. Heat the oil in the oven as it warms.

Toss the wedges really well in the cornflour, paprika, garlic powder, MSG and seasoning. 

When the oil is shimmering carefully lay the wedges into it making sure you coat all sides. Pop them into the oven and begin to treat them like roast potatoes - turn them every 15 minutes or so for around 1 hour, 1 hour 20 until they are all evenly golden and crisp. Remove any that are cooked earlier and drain on kitchen paper while the others finish. 

Season with salt and serve!

MAKE AHEAD -

• You can boil and chill the wedges up to 1 day ahead. OR

• The fully cooked wedges can be kept in the fridge for up to 4 days and reheated at 180 for 15 - 20 minutes. 

FREEZING -

• The roasted wedges can be frozen in a bag for up to 3 months. Reheat from frozen at 180 for 30 - 40 minutes.

SUBSTITUTIONS -

• Feel free to add different spices into the mix - cayenne, cumin, even curry powder.

SPINACH AND FETA BOREK

For our final beige item I wanted to do something a bit jazzy but still recognisable as a necessary element of Picky Tea. These are inspired by Turkish Sigari Borek, a fried variety of the well known filo pastry shaped like a cigar ie. PERFECT. They are a little fiddly but so, so delicious. Your borek can of course be baked but you will find they stay much crisper for longer if fried. 

Makes 14

For the filling

• 250g feta, crumbled

• 150g baby spinach

• 1/2 white onion, finely chopped

• A large handful of flat leaf parsley, finely chopped

• 1 tsp aleppo pepper or chilli flakes

• 1 egg, beaten

• 1 packet of filo pastry 

• 600ml veg oil to fry

Heat a large frying pan on a high heat and then add the spinach. Cook the spinach, stirring often, in the dry pan until it has wilted completely and massively reduced in volume - around 2 minutes. Transfer it to a sieve and press it down hard to drain it. Leave it to cool while you prep the other ingredients. Mix the feta, onion, parsley and chilli flakes together. When the spinach has cooled, squeeze out as much juice from it as possible, then finely chop it before adding it to the feta mix. Take out your filo from the packet and cut the 7 sheets inside in half lengthways to make 14 long strips. Keep all the filo covered with a damp tea towel when you are not using it - it will dry out quickly. Take one strip and lay it in front of you. Place a couple of tablespoons of the spinach and feta mix at one end. Take a knife and cut the other end of the sheet into a triangular point that is about 6cm long - discard the trim. Then brush the rest of the long sheet with the beaten egg. Now, working quickly, fold over the two long edges by about a centimetre, just to help hold the filling in. Then roll the end with the filling away from you, up the remaining filo sheet to make a neat cigar. Pop onto a lined baking tray and then repeat until you have made 14. If you have any leftover filling use it in scrambled eggs, on flatbreads, in a tart or quiche or even through some pasta. 

To fry the borek, heat the oil to 180 in a large non stick frying pan. Carefully lay in the borek and fry in batches turning all the time to make sure they are evenly golden on all sides. They will take about 4 minutes in total. Drain on kitchen paper, cool briefly and serve. 

MAKE AHEAD -

• The boreks can be prepared and kept in the fridge up to 1 day ahead before frying. You can also prepare and then freeze them, see below.

• The cooked boreks will keep for up to 3 days in the fridge but are best eaten within 24 hours. To reheat them, bake them at 180 for 15 - 18 minutes until crisp.

FREEZING - 

• The best way to make the boreks ahead is to freeze them raw and then fry from frozen at 165 / 170 for 10 - 12 minutes. But if you prefer you can fry them, freeze them and then reheat in the oven at 180 for 25 - 30 minutes.

SUBSTITUTIONS - 

• Use goats cheese instead of feta if you prefer or swap the spinach for cooked chard, mashed potato or even combine them all. Use chopped dill or mint instead of or alongside the parsley. 

DIPS 

You don’t have to make all four of these but I think they all offer something a bit different and variety is the spice of life (and Picky Tea). Green Goddess is packed full of fragrance and tang from the herbs and sour cream. Cajun Tomato Mayo provides us with a creamy yet spicy red sauce which is just so irresistible with our beige food. The pesto creme fraiche is a direct copy of a couple of supermarket versions - it’s cheesy, creamy, pestoey - what’s not to love? And my cheats avjar, a quick version of the brilliant Balkan dip, is the answer to that need for something piquant and punchy but with half the work.

GREEN GODDESS SAUCE

• 100g mayonnaise

• 100g sour cream

• 20g parsley

• 10g dill

• 10g tarragon

• 2 anchovies

• 1 garlic clove

• Salt to taste

Pop the herbs, anchovies, garlic and mayonnaise into a bullet blender or food processor and blitz until smooth, then add the sour cream and pulse once or twice to combine. Check the seasoning and serve.

CAJUN TOMATO MAYO

• 150g mayonnaise

• 75g small cherry tomatoes, halved

• 1 tbsp cajun spice mix

• 1 tsp tabasco

• 2 tbsps olive oil

Heat the oil in a small frying pan on a high heat, then add in the tomatoes and half the cajun seasoning. Let them blister and sizzle for 3 minutes until they start to soften and wilt, then remove from the heat to cool. Combine the mayo, tabasco, the rest of the cajun seasoning and mix well. Smoosh half the tomatoes into the mayonnaise and then top with the rest and their spicy oil. Serve with the goujons or wedges.

PESTO CREME FRAICHE

• 200g creme fraiche

• 25g pecorino, finely grated

• Salt and pepper

For the pesto - you only need half of this, save the rest for pasta!

• 1 clove of garlic

• 40g basil leaves

• 80ml olive oil

• 25g pecorino, finely grated

• 25g pine nuts

Blitz all the ingredients for the pesto together in a blender and season to taste. To prevent the pesto from oxidising, pour a thin layer of oil on top. Stir the remaining pecorino into the creme fraiche and season. Swirl a couple of tablespoons of pesto through the creme fraiche. If you are doing this ahead of time, stop there. Right before you serve the dip drizzle  few more tablespoons of pesto on top. 

CHEATS AVJAR

• 200g jarred peppers, drained

• 2 spicy pickled peppers if you can find them or a pinch of chilli flakes

• 100g grilled aubergine, well drained

• 1 clove of garlic

• 1 tsp red wine vinegar

• 20ml olive oil

• Salt to taste

Place all the ingredients into a blender and pulse to blitz - you want this to have a bit of texture so don’t go too hard! Check the seasoning and serve.

MAKE AHEAD - 

• As with most dips these are best relatively fresh, but take very little time at all. 

• Avjar will keep for up to 3 days in the fridge, so if you want to get ahead that is the one I would do. 

SUBSTITUTIONS -

• Play with the herbs in the Green Goddess, add or takeaway the heat from the Cajun mayo, otherwise they are perfect!

COBB SALAD

IT’S PICKY TEA IN SALAD FORM. A classic American grill salad that is delightfully retro and yet also functionally perfect for when you don’t really want a salad. Often served with chicken however in this case I have left it out considering the sheer number of goujons that will already be on the table. Feel free to include it though you are having this by itself. Any dressing is good here (particularly the green goddess as above) but I’ve added a little mustard vinaigrette for simplicity and a little kick. 

• 8 rashers smoked streaky bacon

• 1 ripe avocado, diced

• 2 eggs

• 2 heads of gem lettuce, washed and separated

• 2 ripe plum tomatoes, diced

• 100g blue cheese, crumbled

• Salt, pepper and a squeeze of lemon

For the vinaigrette

• 1 tbsp dijon mustard 

• Salt 

• Pepper

• ½ tsp  caster sugar

• 2 tbsps white wine vinegar

• 6 tbsps olive oil

Bring a small saucepan of water to a rolling boil and gently lay in the eggs. Boil them for 8 1/2 minutes, then transfer to iced water to cool before peeling and setting aside. Preheat your grill to the highest and lay the bacon onto a foil-lined tray. Grill the bacon for around 5 - 6 minutes a side until crisp and caramelised, then drain on kitchen paper. Whisk together the vinaigrette ingredients and set aside. 

Cover the base of a large plate or platter with the lettuce leaves. Sliced the egg widthways into discs and then arrange into a line on the lettuce. Next to it arrange the diced tomato, then the blue cheese, then the avocado and finally roughly chop the bacon and line that up too. Season with the salt, pepper and lemon and then serve with the vinaigrette. 

MAKE AHEAD - 

• You can boil the eggs and keep them in the fridge for up to 2 days. 

• The dressing will keep in the fridge for 7 days in a jar.

SUBSTITUTIONS - 

• Use any strong cheese you like instead of blue. 

• Bacon is classic here but pancetta or guanciale will be equally good.

EXTRAS 

CRISPS - GOOD ONES

BREAD - FOR THE CHEESE, FOR THE DIPS

CRUDITÉS - I LIKE BABY CUCUMBERS AND LEAFY RADISHES WHEN I’M FEELING FANCY, ALSO TO BE EXTRA FANCY PUT THEM ON ICE

CHEESES, INC BOURSIN - DEALERS CHOICE

TIMEPLAN 

This first plan should help you see what you can get done in advance, so that for each course on the day you have at least 1, maybe 2 major parts of it taken care of. I appreciate that not everyone’s weeks are easily peppered with dinner party prep, but if you’re hosting after work or on a day where you can’t be in the kitchen, getting ahead is going to save your arse.

MISE-EN-PLACE

This is the fancy name we give to the food prep each section in the restaurant needs to do for their dishes. Hopefully breaking down each dish like this will help you feel organised. 

Use the hour before your guests arrive to organise your space too- I find it helpful to group ingredients by dish so it is all in the same place. Little ramekins are really useful for this.

STYLING

This is already a VERY LONG edition so I am going to keep this bit brief. Styling a picky tea might seem hard given all the beige but I think it’s important to lean into the kitsch of it and recognise that it will always look a bit old fashioned. Use a tablecloth if you have one, put any beige food on plates with soft tones like pastels and creams and avoid using the beige with primary colours or it will get lost. I like to jazz up the dips by using different height bowls, or even jars or spread them onto plates mezze style (this works particularly well with the avjar). Make use of the greens in your salad and crudités and spread them around if you can, plus definitely use wooden boards to change up the shapes and keep things interesting. And obviously make it a bit special with flowers! I’m loving gerberas and camomile at the moment.